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Eccentric – Or A Public Apology to My Step Daughter

March 11, 2010

Katie is an odd child. She really is. I love her to death. But she is a weirdo. This is a public blog and I will freely tell anyone that I believe my middle change is strange. In a wonderful way. In a creative genius way. Salvador Dali wanted people to think he was a little off. He only wishes he had half of my Katie’s oddness. Or, well, would if he were alive.

For as long as I have known her, she has been this way. And we have loved her for it. And we giggle at her oddities and move on. We cringe when she quacks at us but we wouldn’t have her any other way. But did you catch what I said? Because I just caught it a couple of days ago. In between assuring myself that we love Katie’s oddities, I slipped in that we laughed at Katie.

You never laugh at a child.

See, the other day after dinner, I had a moment. You know those moments where you see with clarity that you really wish you didn’t have? The moment happened very casually: We were talking and laughing and Emily looked over at Katie and in the middle of a laugh said “Kate, nobody likes you. ” Everyone else – Katie included – kept laughing for a second as if nothing unusual had been said (and let’s be honest, nothing had) but I felt as though I had been kicked in the stomach. (Keith and I did stop the conversation and make sure Katie knew that people do in fact like and love her and that Emily was only playing with her. )

Emily just said what we all say to Katie all the time but with different words: there is something wrong with you. We have said it for as long as I can remember. Katie, you are just strange. Kate, you are such a weirdo. Kate! Enough is enough! Stop it! It hurts to think about those words now. I told her to stop being herself.

But I digress…

We have told Katie for years that there is something wrong with her. And for years, she has listened to that. And now, it has taken its toll. I used to see bubbly, soft weirdo Kate. That Kate got pierced by our constant words of disapproval and where the bubbly girl used to be is now a girl with a little harsher giggle and a lot more self-deprecating humor.

For that Katie, I am so sorry. I love you.

So, as of today, I make a vow to not mock Katie for her eccentricity. I value it and will only treasure it from now on and can only pray that she will be happier and more at ease with herself than Dali ever was.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. kristyloo16 permalink
    March 11, 2010 8:33 pm

    I love this…

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